Graduating college has been an ordeal, to say the least. In my previous truth, When Suicide Seemed Like the Best Option, I touched on the struggles I have experienced being a college student and single mom. The struggle is REAL.
I’ve failed classes, I’ve retaken classes, I’ve taken semesters off, I’ve done it all! And now, with only one class left to take this summer, I’ve hit yet another roadblock — financial aid. Because it has taken me so long to finish my degree, I’ve run out of financial aid.
When I received the news a week ago, I cried. I prayed and I asked God, “Am I meant to graduate? Is this a sign that this is not meant to be?”
I have sacrificed so much to get to this point! I left a job that was paying the bills to return to school. My household has been running on empty ever since.
But I always remind myself of the bigger picture: I don’t want a job that just pays the bills. I want a career that provides financial stability and freedom. And also, a career that I’m passionate about.
So through the months of financial despair, I’ve held on to the light at the end of the tunnel — the coveted Bachelor’s of Science in Engineering degree. But damn, is this a long tunnel!?
I spoke with my mom and told her the negative feelings I’ve been harboring about my current predicament. She reminded me that this isn’t a matter of “Is this meat to be?”, but rather a “How much do you want it?”
There’s no question that I want this degree. I’ve spent the last 7 years, thousands of dollars, and my sanity trying to get this baby. My discouragement comes from the all the hoops I have to go through to get it.
I have to remind myself that everything happens for a reason. I also have to remind myself that nothing of value is just handed to you. So while this process is incredibly stressful and tiring while in the thick of it — the reward will be that much sweeter at the end.
So while I don’t entirely know how I’ll pay this last class off, I’m already registered and set to take it. So I’m going to take it! I’m going to finish what I started. I’m going to fight, tooth and nail, to walk across that stage in December. Am I’m going to prove to nobody but myself, what hard work and determination will grant me.